Hair Esteem
Technology isn't the only thing that changes quickly now a days. From a little girl to a woman I have seen hairstyles go from afros, press outs, jheri curls, wave nouveaus, braids, dreads, relaxers, colors, short hair in the top long in the back (Y'all know what I am talking about lol), finger waves, freezes, scrunches, extensions, keratin treatments, brazilian blowouts, wigs, etc. The hair industry is fun to watch because there is so much creativity!
Since I was a girl sitting in the salon, I knew the power a great hairstyle had on a woman. That is one of the main reasons I became a hairstylist. Here recently I went through a hairstyle change. I did something that I said I would never do.. I WENT NATURAL! After having long relaxed hair for all of my life, I took the plunge. Honestly, I never considered going natural because I attached a part of my self esteem and identity to my hair unknowingly. I LOVED my long hair, it was silky, healthy, and most of the time it is what I got complimented on the most. Most guys I dated would say,"Don't ever cut your hair." Poor them lol So unconsciously, I listened and accepted this identity of "Tashell with the long hair". I don't like change and with everything else changing around me, my hair was safe and consistent. I didn't think I would be beautiful any other way sadly.
I remember the day like it was yesterday, even though it was many months ago. I had decided to go natural months before, but the plan was to NEVER, NEVER, wear my hair curly. I needed some length to swing right?! lol So I had been flat ironing my hair during my transition...My arms were killing me because my hair is T-H-I-C-K! I walked in front of a mirror after a shampoo and shocked myself..lol I had this beautiful texture of hair mixed with curls, coils, and waves. My daughter Taylor said,"Mom you should just cut off the straight hair." Then it became like a dare or something. I was dreading the blowout silk press process, so it sounded like a great idea, but I hesitated....I couldn't tell my daughter that I didn't think I would be pretty if I let go of my long hair. I teach her that beauty is within, and your self esteem comes from what God thinks that you are..(fearfully and wonderfully made).
My heart was beating so fast, I couldn't believe this simple act made me feel this much anxiety. I grabbed the shears, and I began to cut. (After she called me scary a number of times..lol I ain't no punk) When I was done, I was staring at myself in disbelief. I looked like a troll! I wanted to cry, but the stylist in me kicked in to find a solution that would make me feel beautiful again. The mother in me kicked in and acted like I was ok, when I wanted to fall apart. When my husband got home, he was more excited about my new look than I expected. Most men don't like for you to cut your hair..lol
After digging and finding some product out of my stash to style my hair, I slowly began to fall in love with this new hair journey. It took me a while to get used to turning my head and my hair not following, LAWD it took a while! I quickly found products that worked well with my hair texture( because I am a stylist of course..:), Unexpectedly this change has uncovered a natural beauty that I never knew I had. I love the hair that God hand picked just for me! I feel free to be totally and naturally ME! Even though I get more compliments now on my hair than I ever have, I am learning that it's my belief in myself and knowing my worth that really turns heads. To have a healthy head of good looking hair will always be apart of me, but my esteem no longer lies there. I am uncompromised beauty! So tell me, do you have hair esteem or self esteem?
